I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
