Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
