we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
