I will die if light touches me.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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