My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
