He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
