Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
