I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
