anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
