do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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