oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
My hand turned me down
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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