also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
