bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
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