I'm gonna have a badass scar
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
