wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
