the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
