So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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