How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
