Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
