this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
