If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
