Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
