I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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