nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
