Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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