your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
