her vagine was all disorganized.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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