I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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