I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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