Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
