Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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