I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
