Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
