nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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