I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
