I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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