9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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