Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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