He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
