Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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