I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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