so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ugly people sure do ruin things
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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