She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
