wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
