I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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