Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
