NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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