You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
