so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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