so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
This is classic penis vs brain.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
