we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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