He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
