not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Randomize
