is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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