Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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