I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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