just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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