You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
