a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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