I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
