i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This house was built for laser tag.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
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