Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
