It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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