drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
